This is from a book I am reading and has nothing at all to do with insurance but I thought you may all enjoy it as much as I did: “That Crazy little thing called Love” by Jud Wilhite. Let me know what you think
You gotta love Aretha. Her powerful voice commanding “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” has captured millions of people, especially women, who have embraced that song as a personal anthem. Just like the Queen of Soul herself, women deserve and desire respect from their mates. And while respect is important for a woman, it’s even more important for men. In fact the son “RESPECT” was first written by a man named Otis Redding. Two years before Aretha recorded it, he released it as a single to send a message to his wife.
In the Song of Solomon, it’s immediately apparent that Solomon’s wife has great respect for him. This is displayed in the opening passage of the book when she says, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; Your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the maidens love you!”
Remember, this is poetry. It is not like reading an article in the New York Times. There’s a lot of flowery language, metaphors, and symbolism. Men in the Old Testament didn’t bathe for several days at a time. (Gross they still don’t over there) They put on oil or perfume that would give them a fragrance. So the woman is saying “Solomon, you smell so good. You’re irresistible!” (By the way, I heard a woman on a radio show say that the most annoying thing about men is that too many believe deodorant alone is enough!)
The Shulatmmite says Solomon not only Smells wonderfully but his “name is like perfume poured out.” A person’s name in the Old Testament stood for his character and reputation. She is saying, “Your name is so valuable it’s like expensive perfume poured out. It’s a sweet fragrance.” These words drip with respect.
In his book Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs writes about the importance of respect in a man’s life. He cites a study in which 400 men were asked to choose between being alone and unloved or being disrespected by everyone. An amazing 74% of men said if they had to choose, they would choose to be alone and unloved rather than disrespected!
Thousands of years ago, the Bible addressed the issue of man’s need for respect. In his letter to the Ephesians, we read this instruction form Paul: “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (5:33). Notice this passage does not call on husbands and wives to love each other. It charges husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. God knows that a woman’s primary need is to feel loved, but a man’s primary need is to feel respected. Respect surpasses love and everything else as his most essential need.
Eggerichs cites one woman who says, “Just a few days ago, I decided to tell my husband that I respect him. It felt so awkward to say the words, but I went for it and the reaction was unbelievable! He asked me why I respected him. I listed off a few things, although I could have said many more, and I watched his demeanor change right before my very eyes” . Most women would be surprise at how powerful the words “I respect you” are to a man.
Too often in Marriage relationships, we think love should be unconditional but respect, earned. That may be true in our professional relationships, but in a marriage or dating relationship, men need unconditional respect and women need unconditional love. It does little good to withhold love or respect until your partner seems worthy of it. Rather, respect him and love her regardless and you may see him or her change before your eyes. The German poet and philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe put it this way, “If you treat a man as he is he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become that bigger and better man.”
One action that causes your partner to feel disrespected is nagging. Nagging may make a person think, I’m respected at work——they don’t nag me there. My friends respect me. I’m respected everywhere I go except for my own home. Many men especially feel this way , so be careful to show respect for one another, Check yourself, your demonstration of respect will transform the way your partner communicates love to you.
Women can learn from the Shulatmmite on this point. Look for things you respect about your husband and share those feelings with him. Make a list of the things you respect and admire about him. You can do this mentally or write them down. Do you respect him for his honesty and integrity? Is it the way he parents his children? Do you respect his intellect or his sense of humor? How about his knowledge of the job that he does or the way he manages people in the workplace? Perhaps you respect his for the way he tends to things around your home like the yard the cars or the necessary repairs. Take a lesson from Otis Redding and Aretha Franklin: let him know. Sock it to him. In the process, you’ll notice and amazing thing. Your ability to love him will increase as well.
Write down a characteristic of your partner that inspires your respect.
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Jerry Szeszulski
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Jerry Szeszulski is an insurance expert heard on The Future of Real Estate News/Talk 740 KRMG from 12:30 - 1:00 and KFAQ from 7:00-8:00 on Saturday in
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